so my little wandering brain went away with this information and pictured some unpleasant things. my inability to care about pain, to be precise. which is disturbing on many levels.
every time i've ended a relationship, it was with a guy who had a lot of feelings and liked to talk about them frequently. it was with the guys who showed me their insecurities, depended on me, looked up to me, etc. it was with the guys who had more mood swings than i did.
i'm not sure how or when the relationship with Prince Charming went south. which is funny, because the overall thing only lasted 3-4 months. i think his constant neediness and insecurities slowly suffocated me. but towards the end, and up till our last (and i'm thinking final) fight about two weeks ago, i somehow turned into the guy before him, Mr. Right Now.
i was insensitive. i was brutally honest. i was not putting up with anything anymore and i spared nothing to let that be known. i don't know what that was, some cold hearted bitch deep inside me, but it's there.
what startled me in class was the thought that maybe that's who i am now, that who i am just doesn't care. the thought of someone, anyone--friend, boyfriend,random person--crying about something to you is supposed to melt your heart a little, not freeze it up.
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